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It depends. Smaller, younger trees take longer to mature, but they're more resilient, their roots don't get as damaged during transplanting, and they recover faster. Plus, they're much more affordable to plant, and it's possible to DIY the planting. 

On the other hand, mature trees produce fruit faster and provide more shade and privacy immediately. Ideally, a small or medium tree is the better choice if you can wait a few years for it to mature. But if you need immediate maturity, a larger tree is the only option.

Depending on the severity of the damage, a tree might continue healing for years after a split or a break. Saplings can usually bounce back in the spring in one or two seasons, but larger trees might take a few years to regain their former strength. If your tree is showing strong growth and is not dropping limbs, you can consider it healed after the first two seasons.

Generally, homeowners do not need permission to cut down a tree on their own private property, but there are several exceptions where a permit may be required. You might need a permit if the tree is particularly large, old, or a protected species, such as a heritage tree. Trees located near public property or power lines can also be subject to special rules. Additionally, many local governments and homeowners associations (HOAs) have regulations controlling which trees can be removed to manage an area's appearance or prevent the spread of invasive species. To avoid hefty fines, it is crucial to check with your local government and HOA to determine if a permit is needed before you begin.

The best way is to start controlling tree height long before it grows too large, via careful pruning through the years. But that’s not always possible. If a tree has become too high or too large, use selective pruning to remove the most troublesome branches, one by one, without topping the tree. Gently shaping a tree like this can, over time, correct problems. You can also find growth inhibitors to spray on a tree to stop it from growing too rapidly, but use these sparingly if at all.