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It depends. Smaller, younger trees take longer to mature, but they're more resilient, their roots don't get as damaged during transplanting, and they recover faster. Plus, they're much more affordable to plant, and it's possible to DIY the planting. 

On the other hand, mature trees produce fruit faster and provide more shade and privacy immediately. Ideally, a small or medium tree is the better choice if you can wait a few years for it to mature. But if you need immediate maturity, a larger tree is the only option.

Generally, you do not have the right to take fruit from a neighbor's tree, even if the branches overhang your property. The fruit is considered the property of the tree's owner. While you may have the right to trim branches that cross into your yard, the fruit on them typically still belongs to your neighbor. However, laws can vary by state and municipality. In some areas, branches that extend into your yard or trees that straddle a property line may entitle you to some of the fruit. The best course of action is to speak with your neighbor, as they may be happy to share. If a conversation is not possible, check your local regulations before picking any fruit.

It is possible to cut down a tree on your property yourself, but it is generally not recommended unless specific conditions are met. You should only consider this project if the tree is small (e.g., under 4-5 inches in diameter and short enough that you don't need a ladder to reach the branches), and you are experienced in handling a chainsaw. The tree must also be located far from any power lines, fences, homes, or other structures. Even for small trees, the work can be dangerous, and it's always advisable to have a spotter to ensure the tree falls correctly and no branches fall on you.

For any tree that is large, requires a ladder to access, or is near electrical lines or structures, you should always hire a professional. Attempting to remove a large tree yourself is extremely dangerous, poses a risk of serious injury, and could result in significant damage to your property.

Before any tree removal, it's also important to check your local and state regulations to ensure the tree is not historic or otherwise protected by your city.

In general, trees should be planted no closer than 15 to 20 feet from your foundation. For larger trees with far-reaching roots like maples, oaks, or poplars, a good guide is to plant as many feet from your home as the tree’s height is expected to reach at maturity. Some trees, like elms and willows, should only be planted far from where their roots may encounter sewer or water lines.