Kids World of Willard Beach

Initially we were very pleased with our experience and our two year old son seemed very happy at Kids' World. However, after about four weeks he became increasingly anxious and upset about having to go to this day care. (He attended another day care for two years with no incidents and only left because he aged out.) We spoke to the providers to see if they knew of what might be going on and were told that our son was having trouble adjusting to the no physical contact rule and was having to be reprimanded frequently during the day. We were assured that he was not aggressive or mean, but simply liked to hug, touch, and play-wrestle with the other kids and that was not allowed in their setting. We agreed 100% with them that our son had to follow the rules at day care, but we were hoping to find a solution to him being so upset at drop-off. It was extremely stressful for everyone and was only getting worse. They promised to keep an eye on it and offer him more hugs/affection during the day (which they had not been doing according to them up to that point). The following week the provider attended a seminar about raising boys and decided to loosen the no-contact rules because the speakers encouraged letting boys "play." Evidently it helps them learn boundaries, build relationships, and grow physically since that is how they are "hard-wired." After a week or so of this approach, we were told by our providers that our son was doing great and even the other boys were positively responding to the new approach. However, our son continued to get more and more upset about having to go do day care. He would cry and beg for us not to take him every single morning and was anxious over the weekends about the impending week. We asked our providers repeatedly if something was going on but kept getting the response that everything was fine and he was doing great as soon as we left. We trusted them and continued to encourage our son to focus on having fun. We thought it was maybe a bad case of separation anxiety. Then, there was an incident that really concerned us that happened at drop off. When we arrived, the providers directed my son to the downstairs play area to play with the other boys. We walked him downstairs and immediately the "older boys" (my son was placed with the three and four year olds) began yelling at my son and telling him that they didn't want him there. Kids will be kids, but we were concerned that no adult was supervising the group. Over the next couple of weeks, various things happened that led us to believe that this is not the type of day care center that we wanted our child in. To name a few: The providers never learned our first names, they told our son that I (his mom) would be really angry and disappointed that he had wet his pants (he was 2!), the providers called him a pee-pee pants for wetting his pants, my son said that the providers "yell a lot", and we were often told that they weren't sure if our son napped or not because they don't check on the kids during quiet time. The last straw was when my son started having potty accidents three and four times a day only at day care but never at home or on the weekends. He said that he hid in the bathroom from the older boys and he said that the older boys hit him. When we addressed this issue with the provider, there was no immediate response. When my son continued to tell us that he was being hit, we decided to pull him out because he was just too upset and we were going on month four. We very politely gave our two week notice. Here was their written response to our questioning of the possibility of hitting: "I need to assure you that your son has never been hit by X or any boy here. Your son is the aggressor and always has been since he started. The reason I allowed wrestling was because he continued to hit, punch & tackle. It is sad that he will be leaving without developing his 'team' skills and learning about life long friendships. I think if you ask your son who hits here..... his answer might be 'me'!" Our son had been there for four months when this was sent home (stuffed in the bottom of his bag with no verbal communication about it being in there) and there was absolutely NO report or discussion about his behavior prior to this EVER. We were never told that he had been doing this. Day in and day out we got nothing but "great day" reports. If he had been doing these things, we would have addressed it IMMEDIATELY. I was furious that after all the stressful mornings and tearful goodbyes that we weren't more informed that other things were happening. There was a complete lack of communication and what felt like a retaliation because we pulled him out. After getting that letter, we paid our two weeks but did not send our son back again. In response to taking him out, we got the following email: Dear "Mom", 1. The reason I wrote on his story on his last visit was because of your husbands hostile and inappropriate and wrong comments to me. He said on arrival, pointing his finger in my face "Your son is petrified of X and you are to keep him away from X!" There no questions asked and no room for me to discuss the situation. Your son also rambled about X and others hitting him! That statement is a lie! Your son has never been hit at daycare, he is in fact the aggressor and always has been. I assumed that you knew that and that is why I attend the Boys to Men session at the Downtown Public Library. I was search for the correct way to continue to integrate your son into our current group. X would not hurt a fly! He is the most gentle boy I have ever met in my life. He graciously shares anything he brings to care and I have always described him has a gentle giant. Accusing X was totally not correct, but coming from your son it was not unexpected. 2. We have never had a problem with your son being himself. The other provider and I both agreed that he was a little boy that was being raised without boundaries. In todays liberal society we have had children in the past that are just being raised differently. It is not what we would do, but we also feel that it is a parents choice, how they choose to raise their children. With that said, we try and do the best with who we accept. Your son is not a bad kid! And in time, we would have been just fine. (the key is "in time") 3. Your son is a great manipulator and really enjoys being a bit naughty. What I mean by this is that he likes to cry and act like he is sad, he loves to stand in the window, his face completely contorted, red, mouth wide open, mouthing something. However, as soon as the car drives away, he turns to us and wants to know what we are doing. I ask him almost everyday "Why do you do that why do you make your dad feel bad?" And everyday I hear the same answer, "Because I like it!" 4. Parents on Board. I guess what I should have said from day one. Could you please hold him accountable, could you tell him to stop that behavior (when being dropped off and picked up), It is not acceptable. But that never seemed to be an option. We (Kids World) were perceived to be the problem. And our kids were the problem and not your son. 5. Your son likes attention wether it is negative or positive. Back to the day I had our boys apologize for shouting "Do not wreck our castle!" It has a history. He loves to plow through just about anything that someone is doing or working on (block castles, lego projects, snowmen). It is just your son. If you read the story from that day you would see that the boys built a new Lego skate board park, they spent an hour doing it. Your son asked if he could go down stairs and get something, I said yes. An hour later we all went down, the Lego park was smashed and all the pieces strewn, we still have not found them all. You can ask your son about the Skate Park, he proudly said "I crashed it!" 6. We both like your son! If you were a regular family with regular jobs, your son would continue down the road